Coffee Quotes

Coffee Quotes


The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., "Over the Teacups," 1891

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.  ~Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

Over second and third cups flow matters of high finance, high state, common gossip and low comedy.  [Coffee] is a social binder, a warmer of tongues, a soberer of minds, a stimulant of wit, a foiler of sleep if you want it so.  From roadside mugs to the classic demi-tasse, it is the perfect democrat.  ~Author Unknown

No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils.  ~Henry Ward Beecher

A morning without coffee is like sleep.  ~Author Unknown

I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.  ~Flash Rosenberg

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.  ~Author Unknown

Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee.  ~Author Unknown

Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.  ~Terri Guillemets

Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.  ~Author Unknown

Way too much coffee.  But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable

personality whatsoever.  ~David Letterman

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.  ~Author Unknown

Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.  ~Author Unknown

This coffee falls into your stomach, and straightway there is a general commotion.  Ideas begin to move like the battalions of the Grand Army of the battlefield, and the battle takes place.  Things remembered arrive at full gallop, ensuing to the wind.  The light cavalry of comparisons deliver a magnificent deploying charge, the artillery of logic hurry up with their train and ammunition, the shafts of with start up like sharpshooters.  Similes arise, the paper is covered with ink; for the struggle commences and is concluded with torrents of black water, just as a battle with powder.  ~Honore de Balzac, "The Pleasures and Pains of Coffee"

Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister.  ~Bob Irwin

I bought a decaffeinated coffee table, you can’t even see a difference.  ~Author Unknown

Decaf?  No, it’s dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream.  ~Author Unknown

Chocolate, men, coffee – some things are better rich.  ~Author Unknown

Coffee has two virtues:  it is wet and warm.  ~Dutch Proverb

Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.  ~Star Trek: Voyager

Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.  ~Author Unknown

He was my cream, and I was his coffee –
And when you poured us together, it was something.
~Josephine Baker

I’ve just arrived in New York City.  What a place!  Just smell those skyscrapers.  Had breakfast at a little deli on Ninth Avenue.  Cheese Danish and a cup of coffee, black as a moonless night.  Hit the spot.  ~From the television show Twin Peaksby David Lynch  (Thanks, Rachel)

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.  ~Alphonse Allais

Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.  ~Jessi Lane Adams

Caffeine isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin!  ~Author Unknown

Deja Brew:  The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before.  ~Author Unknown

There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee.  ~Rian Aditia

I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.  ~Terri Guillemets

Forever:  Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning.  ~Author Unknown

A fig for partridges and quails,
ye dainties I know nothing of ye;
But on the highest mount in Wales
Would choose in peace to drink my coffee.
~Jonathon Swift

Don’t drink coffee in the morning.  It will keep you awake until noon.  ~Author Unknown

Coffee, which makes the politicians wise,
And see through all things with his half-shut eyes.
~Alexander Pope

Be a coffee-drinking individual – espresso yourself!  ~Author Unknown

I make serious coffee – so strong it wakes up the neighbors.  ~Author Unknown

Suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, without causing excess heat; the organ of thought receives from it a feeling of sympathy; work becomes easier and you will sit down without distress to your principal repast which will restore your body and afford you a calm, delicious night.  ~Prince Tallyrand

In America you can buy bucket-sized cups of coffee in any flavour you like other than coffee-flavour.  ~Author Unknown

Coffee in styrofoam is against my religion.  ~Betsy Cañas Garmon,www.wildthymecreative.com

You know you’ve been playing too much Nethack when you refer to coffee as a potion of sleep resistance.  ~Sweeney Todd Lundgren

I never drink coffee at lunch.  I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.  ~Ronald Reagan

Man does not live by coffee alone.  Have a danish.  ~Author Unknown

Coffee, n.  break fluid.  ~Author Unknown

This coffee tastes like mud!  Well, it was ground this morning.  ~Old Vaudeville joke

I like my coffee strong, not lethal!  ~M*A*S*H

I don’t have a problem with caffeine.  I have a problem without caffeine!  ~Author Unknown

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.  ~Stephanie Piro

C:\COFFEE.POT missing (A)bort (R)etry (F)all asleep?  ~Author Unknown

If it ain’t caffeinated, it ain’t coffee!  ~Author Unknown

Coffee and tobacco are complete repose.  ~Turkish Proverb

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee.  ~Carly Simon

In Seattle you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.  ~Jeff Bezos

Black as the devil, Hot as hell,
Pure as an angel, Sweet as love.
~Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord

Coffee in England is just toasted milk.  ~Author Unknown

Ultimate office automation – networked coffee machines.  ~Author Unknown

Everybody should believe in something.  I believe I’ll have another coffee.  ~Author Unknown

Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!  ~Robin Williams

Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures:
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz:
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I will fear no Equal™:
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks:
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the House of Mochas forever.
~Author Unknown

C:>COFFEE.COM error.  Contact programmer J. Valdez.  ~Author Unknown

Coffee:  The first peripheral!  ~Author Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.  ~T.S. Eliot

Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart in nearly every great crisis – a good hot cup of coffee.  ~Alexander King

Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water.  ~The Women’s Petition Against Coffee, 1674

Coffee makes me invincible.  But when the cup is empty, I return to mere mortal.  ~Terri Guillemets

I like my coffee like my women:  hot, strong, steamy.  ~Author Unknown

Retirement is one great big giant coffee break.  ~Author Unknown

My blood type is Folgers.  ~Author Unknown

All the coffee in Columbia won’t make me a morning person.  ~Author Unknown

Do I like my coffee black?  There are other colors?  ~Author Unknown

I don’t understand decaf, it’s like sex without the sex.  ~A.C. Van Cherub

Nothing is sad on a beautiful morning save to look down and realize you just had the last sip of coffee and the mug sits indifferently empty.  ~Terri Guillemets

Don’t laugh at the coffee.  Some day you, too, may be old and weak.  ~Author Unknown

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.  I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts.  I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut

smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles.  ~Dave Barry

COFFEE.SYS Not Found:  User startup disabled.  ~Author Unknown

Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.  ~Jonathan Swift

I’d stop drinking coffee, but I’m no quitter.  ~Author Unknown

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.  ~Mark Helprin,Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

RISING.SUN detected: (A)nother coffee, (C)old shower, (S)leep?  ~Author Unknown

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.  ~Paul Erdos

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:  alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.  ~Alex Levine

I’ll quit coffee.  It won’t be easy drinking my Bailey’s straight, but I’ll get used to it.  It’ll still be the best part of waking up.  ~From the television show Will and Grace

Caffeine Allocation Error:  COFFEE.SYS missing, Programmer halted.  ~Author Unknown

if(pot.coffee=EMPTY) {programmer->;brain=OFF};  ~Author Unknown

Docs?  Oh, you mean the stuff you wipe up coffee with?  ~Author Unknown

Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.  ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.  ~Author Unknown

I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.  ~John Van Druten

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